Life

Ya know. Sometimes life just stinks. And there's nothing you can do about it. Its just life. I hate that saying. I hate that it has to stink sometimes. That everything can't be wonderful all the time. That we all can't laugh and smile and play all the time. And really. Everything goes back to him. Everything is for his glory. For him to take something ugly, and gross. A big mess and make it clean, spotless, and BEAUTIFUL. Thats one of my favorite things about our savior. He takes the junk and he is the only one that can make it beautiful. Not just on the outside but inside to. I think back on relationships and situations that have been so crappy and how beautiful they are or are becoming. Just like me and dad. Or this past week. It wasn't crappy. But from wed until today... things have not been so fabulous. I hate to be negative about things but. I don't really think i am. I mean... these things happen. Days happen when they aren't so fabulous. I guess i'm just learning a lot right now.

Sunday morning at church they talked about Godly Womanhood. And friends. It was so good. Last week they talked about Authentic Manhood. And to hear them talk about mans weakness, for them to be passive and not take the blame. And how women struggle with being controlling. Wanting to control their husbands, people, situations. And just recently i have found myself wanting to be controlling. Not over people, but how when these things have not been so great, that i truly have absolutely no control over them. And i can say i trust the Lord and i know he gives me the best, but my actions and thoughts have not shown that i believe he is in control, and that i believe he is giving me the best right now. I have all these plans or backup plans that if it doesn't work with what the Lords giving me i'll do what i think is best. And how he is just stripping me of that right now. Their are a few things going on and basically just life that i can't control. ANd i HAVE to trust that the Lord and believe he is giving me the best. I'm reminded that the word tells me he will not withhold any good thing from me! Today it will be a struggle to remember that. Tomorrow it will be too. And prolly the rest of the week and from now on. Pray my actions and thoughts reflect my trust. That daily i'm reminded he is taking care. He's in control. That that would be enough for me.
He is stripping me of so much right now. Of me not trusting, my pride, my selfishness, my pointless words and much more that i can't see right now. This is what i want though. And i have to also remind myself that i'm askin him to do this, and i knew it would be hard. I think we forget that when we ask him to do things sometimes, that it prolly won't be too easy. ha. I'm excited to look back on this and to see how he has and is changing me. I'm excited about this week.
Dad comes back today. Grandpa's birthday is today and we're having a party for lunch. And Its a new day to delight in the Lord. I have missed him. I find that things are a bit harder and a bit less meaningful to me the less time i spend with him. I become busy and selfish and lazy. Not taking the opportunities to spend with him alone. Not covering myself in his word daily.

Ah.

I am becoming a horrible blogger. But. Nonetheless life is still going one. Things are still changing. Special, sweet things are still happening each day. And the Fathers love is still covering me at home=)

I just have come to the point that some things are more important than blogging. Like sleep. and helping. Like stopping and doing nothing. And people. The time in each day is so precious at home. Each day flies by. I mean, i thought timed moved fast before, but now. Wow. Its always later than i ever think it is, and so much more happens in my day here, than ever before. And just a few extra hours to the day now. A normal  schedule for me is waking up usually every morning at 6 working from 6:30 till about 5, running with my sisters when i get home, help clean or do stuff around the house, eat, shower, sleep. ha. I'm not complaining. I like it. Its just some things are more important than blogging. ha.
This past week there were a few days i started to grow weary of being home. The mornings i had to wake up extra early didn't help. ha. Its so funny how the Lord would quickly throw something in my face and remind me again, he's still working. Funny how my memory verse last week was "The Lord does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths." Psalm 135: 6. That is much encouragement to me. Many times the bible tells us he's in control, he does what he wants, he doesn't withhold any good thing from us, he's working through us. I'm just reminded of these truths in those weary moments. Just being reminded he IS working. He hasn't stopped and he WON'T. Ah. Makes me smile. He is working here in "Blessed Bentley", as steph calls it. Already this morning, i had a sweet talk with my dads secretary about her kids. How they're night and day. Its funny how she'll ask me what i would do. AH. not funny, its crazy. I pray in those moments, the Lord speaks through me.  I'm pretty sure i'm working most of the day alone. Sometimes, i like it. It doesn't happen very often anymore. And, my sweet Mib (our dog) is here to keep me company. Ya know, i don't really like dogs, or cats, or really pets. ha. A few reasons why. But. I have grown to like my dog. A LOT. i like how they're just there. They don't talk, sometimes you don't even know they are there, and other times they want every bit of your attention. And most of the time they love their owners. They don't even care what they look like or who they are or anything really. I like that too.  Ha, and i'll jam to some of my new faves at the moment:
1) A lil Johnny Cash
2) Switchfoots new cd (thank you, Colin McAfee)
3) the Beatles
4) Brooke Fraser
and some random others...

Its going to be a good, good day=) As of now i have to wash/clean my dads FILTHY work truck. it'll prolly take me a few hours. Then load the RV for his Man trip tomorrow. ha. Talladega Superspeedway. Yall. He has been so excited about this. He's went every year for the past 5 years prolly and will prolly continue going. ha. Every time one of his buddies calls they'll talk about it FOREVER. haha. Its funny. I like it. So after tomorrow, it'll be a girls week. Those are always fun. We do girl stuff. Ha. Anyway. So i'm getting dad ready for his fun trip.

This past weekend was yet again, another sweet weekend. I went back to ruston for MLK. And, its always a plus to see my friends, and other sweet people. Most of our group of friends went out of town, so their was only 5 out the 13 prolly there. ha. So it was sweet time to get to hang out with Megan, Leah, Colin, and Spencer. I'm really close to both of the girls, but it was so special to me to get to actually hang out with Colin and Spencer. They are so funny. I love that spencer, he dances with me. ha. And colin says he can't dance, BUT. I saw a few of his dance moves, AND saw his senior video of him breaking it down, A LOT. hahaha. He prolly doesn't even know that. Ba ha.
I always have talks with people randomly, never really planned, and that is something so dear to my heart. I love to know how people feel about things. I love to see how different the Lord created us all. How we all feel different about different things. All the things we want out of life, and where the Lord has us right now. The different things we're learning. Ah. I LOVE PEOPLE.
I also got to stay with Leah while visiting. Its so exciting how much i adore her. We have such an easy friendship and it has grown to become so deep. We have become so close since about Christmas. We just met in september, and she is one of those people i feel like i've known a long time. She also dances with me=)
Sunday night, all of the friends got back in town and we had dinner together and just got to hang out and chat. AH. i LOVE them. Everyone of them! SOOO MUCH. They all have a special place in my heart. They all mean something different to me. I love that the relationship i have with say Stephanie, is not the same as i have with say,  Emillie. And they can never be the same. No relationship anyone has with anyone can not be the same with another person. The people are different. Some people understand other people better than others. Does this make since? Anyway. All of my relationships are different with them all. Some people i talk more about what i'm going through and life more, and some i listen more about their life. Its good. So good. Ah. My heart is happy thinking about it.
I did get to see Zachary. Its so weird how close we are and how we barely know each other, but how he is another one i feel like i've know forever. I love to see the Lord working in him. I haven't seen him in over a month. And i only got to see him for a very short time, but it was so encouraging. he is special to my heart. Needless to say. The weekend was great! BuT. MLK.

It was one of the best times i've had out there. Usually we only get to interact with the kids like 12 and under. But this sunday, the older kids were already outside playing baseball and they wanted us to come play with. AH. SO funny. I got to meet Peaches, Precious, Jessica, and Jasimine. They were all about 15 and older. I LOVED it. They thought i was a funny, crazy white girl. We joked with them and got to talk about school and stuff. i hope we get to interact with them more. Pray for that. Pray for those girls. Also, there is one lil boy who one week was SOOOOOO bad. He tried to bit, kick, hit, spit on me, and anything else he could do to me, i'm sure he tried. But. This week, he was precious. He learned my name, and he kept yelling it=) Warms my heart when they learn my name and remember it! Also, our story time was sweet. Amber had more of the younger kids, and i had the older ones. The kids that played ball were with me. There has only been one time when i felt the Lord telling me to share specifically about him, and that was with like two lil girls. Not with a whole group of kids, and the older kids. Anyway. I did and it was sweet. Who knows if anyone heard, but pray the Lord is stirring in their hearts. I want to see the older kids come back. Ah. I'm excited!
Its tuesday. A good sweet tuesday.

Still at that Bayou

Its been like week 4 at the bayou. Its been so great. Well. Sometimes. ha. This day happen to be so great. All the men were there working. Tommy, Joel, Josh, Brian, Michael, Dad, and Jimbo. haha. These guys become more special to me. We all had a picnic together. It was sweet. We made jokes, well. they made jokes. ha. They LOVE working together. They all get along, and just have fun. I have grown to have just a greater respect for them. They work they do. And just who they are. The more i hang out with them the more special they become to me.

Friends... so many things have been happening. So many sweet things. I know its tuesday and i have a few many days to catch up on. So. I will just give yall an update of the past few days and then start on today=)

Wed- i pretty much took the day off. ha. I got to spend some time at home by myself, and then i brought my grandma to walmart. She is SO awesome. ha. I lost her in walmart. It was kinda funny. It was sweet to hang out with her. Its never just me and her. That day i just realized a few things. A few things i want in life. I just know there is so much more. So much more to life.

Thursday- We back at the bayou again. That day. We poured concrete. I kinda liked it. Well. For just a lil bit. I kinda got bored with it. ha. Later that day, josh and i were working together and we just got to have such a meaningful talk. Talk about life. Talk about him being a dad. Such a sweet moment for me.

Friday- I only had to work a few hours that morning. Before lunch i went to go visit my granny. She's my dads mom. We have a lady that comes a few hours during the day and sits with her. Well. When i had gotten there, my granny was telling her to go home. That she didn't need a babysitter. She was a grown women. It was a bit funny. I laughed. After the lady left i stayed a bit and just sat and talked with my granny. She really is SO funny. I mean. I just laugh a lot. and it doesn't take much for that. But yall. Old people and little kids are just REALLY funny to me. I love her. I wish i knew her more. I want to spend more time with her.
Then. For lunch dad brought me and steph to a crawfish boil at a place he does a lot of business. There were a whole lot of men out there. And steph and I were the only ladies out there. AH. So funny. So steph and i sat together and made lil jokes and met all of dads many friends=) My dad LOVED it. Thats why we loved it. We like to make him happy. He enjoys us hanging out with him.
That afternoon, i had to run a few errands so i went and got Rhys to come with me. He is just precious. So special to my heart. I want him to stay this age. We were riding down the road listening to some needtobreathe and i happen to look in my mirror and see him singing. and i kept watching him and he pretty much knew every word to "lay 'em down." PRECIOUS. He was so cute. We prolly sang the song 5 times. Ah. I want my kids to be that cool. ha

Then we all went out to dinner last night. Well. It was kinda funny. Steph and krista went and had a lil early birthday celebration. So jake came with the rest of them fam out to eat. ha. I sure do love that brother! He is very special to me. Someone i look up to and respect very much=)

I love office parties!

If ya don't know. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE birthdays!! I love to make the day all about people. Just to make them feel so special! So. Sunday was Aunt Sheryl's birthday. So since we were in Ruston. We celebrated monday. I have to say it was stephs idea. ha. Anyway. We made signs, decorated the deer heads, ba haha, and gave her a cake. It was sweet. Since i've been home i've been able to talk to my aunt more. And just being around someone more helps . ha.

Steph and i had to drop a trailer full of picnic tables off somewhere. When we got there we heard a sound, and we looked at each other and started checking all the tires for a flat. I found the tire on the trailer on the my side. It was a small slit in the tire. So. i had a bright idea to chew some gum and fix it. haha. I mean... it worked...well... for no time actually. ha. Then dad came to the rescue and used his "real" tire fixing kit. ha. He laughed at me. Add that to my list of silly things. After that we went home and did some work around the house. Mom came home early from work, and she cleaned outside with us. She's cute. While we were cleaning though, she asked us all about our weekend. It was a sweet time to share with her. I got to tell her about my lunch about MLK. She was so excited. So... i can say i may be back in Ruston every weekend doing MLK. And possibly back the whole summer! Its so exciting. Be praying that the Lord would change my parents hearts towards where the Lord is leading me. He would prepare them for whatever, and wherever the Lord wants me.

That afternoon, when were done working. I got to talk to Bonnie on the phone for awhile. I MISS HER. Man. She is so special to my heart. We talked for a long time. She is ALWAYS so encouraging. Also, that afternoon i got presented another opportunity for the summer. I would be far from home. Far from Louisiana. But. i have NO idea what i'm gunna do. I think, i know, my parents are going to want me to stay here for the summer and work. And that would be great too. Just pray the Lord would confirm where he wants me through my parents.

Then that evening i just got to sit in one of my favorite places at home and just look at the Lords creation. Just to delight in the Lord. Thats what im trying to do these days. It just reminds me of the bigger things in life. How he loves me. How He is so worthy.

Refreshing Sunday

Can i just say. This may be a bit long. ha. Sorry. I just have soo much in my heart!!! After our adventure we did not go to sleep till late, but once again, i was awake early. So... i went for a nice run that morning. It was just so amazing. The weather was beautiful, the trees were so green, and it was just time by myself to just thank the Lord for such an amazing weekend so far! But, really there was so much more good stuff that day. When i got back to the house, Leah and Camille were awake. I was sitting outside just enjoying the Lord, when sweet Leah and cam came out to chat. It was just a sweet time of intimate girl talk. I got to listen to Leah share her heart. As we all 3 shared my juicy pear=) hahaha. By this time we had decided to have church together that morning. And it was by far the best decision! We sat outside and shared our hearts, Caleb played his guitar and we just sang some sweet songs, and just enjoyed the Lord together. Its just so hard to explain it, but it was such an intimate time with each other, while being in the Lords presence. It was great to encourage each other, and talk about where we are struggling. Friends. If you're reading this. Know i am specifically praying for the things yall talked about.

After that we went to MLK. AH. So exciting. Well. i had mixed emotions. I was a bit nervous, because i hadn't been there in a month. I figured the kids would hate me, ha, and then it was just weird me jumping in right back where i left off. I just didn't know if that was ok or what? It was really just lies the devil was placing in my thoughts. I HATE that. Anyway. It was so encouraging seeing everyone, and loving on them. Getting to briefly catch them up on hardly nothing, bc there was no time. I am thankful for the understanding that they have and they just love me, even if they haven't seen me or talked to me in a month!! Once we got out to MLK, one lil boy, JT, was SO excited to see me and started shouting my name and saying he has been missing me. AAAHHHH!!! Friends. At that moment i thought i was going to cry! I had a fear the kids wouldn't care about me, they wouldn't remember my name, and not even a minute after being there the Lord confirmed other wise!!! WOW. how little faith i have. Then not even 5 mins later Te-Te came up and wanted to know where i have been, and several of the kids remembered me! My heart was just SOOO full. I just felt the Lord all over that place. Friends. I LOVE THAT PLACE. i love the kids, i love doing whatever they want me to do, i love picking up trash after them, i LOVE getting my nails painted all crazy each week, i love hearing about what they're learning in school, i love loving on them! Often times when my heart gets so full, i have to just sit and observe. And today, i just had to sit back and watch what the Lord was doing, and see the things he has done! I want yall to be praising the Father for the work he has done, and will continue doing through MLK. I know this is only the beginning!

After we left MLK, i told the group about Calvary wanting to support us, but not take over MLK, just wanting to add to what we were already doing. And they were SO excited! Most of us went to Sonic after for happy hour. At that moment too, my heart was happy. That was the first time that most people who help with MLK all hung out together, besides every sunday with kids. It was such a sweet time! I am so thankful for each one of them. Its also so amazing how i have seen the Lord change us as we get to serve his people.

Then, i went to pick up steph from Jakes and we went home. It was kinda weird. Cause the whole weekend i hardly saw steph. And we spend everyday together. Its like we were no where near each other to hang out. But. it was cool getting to hear all about her weekend on the way home. One of my friends asked me this weekend if i ever get tired of talking. And, when they i asked i said no. But. As i was on my way to get steph, i just shut down. i don't think i could've talked anymore if i wanted to at that point. I think it had just been so long since i had really talked to so many people, that there was so much to catch up on that i finally reached empty.  Cause i mean... every time i saw someone, they would ask and i would tell. Its definitely not a bad thing though. I love to have conversations with people. I think it just all caught up on me, and i was SOO tired! So tired! But, i enjoyed listening to steph and thinking over the weekend on the drive home=)

Its so crazy how the Father has worked through so many relationships since i have been home. Some people i hardly talked to every few days, i talk to them pretty much everyday now that i'm home. Some people that i didn't know cared so much have become so special to me. And how strong many of my friendships have become since i've been home. How thankful i am for the Father for my sweet, special friendships! I miss my friends already.

ps- When i got home i cooked my first steak on the grill. All by myself. I mean... my dad told me how to. But i did it.  And when he ate it he was pleased=)

Family Brinner=)

Saturday was such a sweet sweet day=) I loved every single moment of it! The Lord was so good, so gracious, so loving. He just confirmed so many prayers, and brought me much joy! I am so thankful. After an amazing friday night with the girls and not going to bed till 2 i still woke up around 8:30 and ran to the Clarks. It was my first time to see them in a whole month as well. Its crazy seeing them pretty much everyday, to not seeing them for a whole month!! So it was so refreshing to just get to see their faces. i really really miss Erin. She is always so encouraging and loving. Always so real, and can relate to pretty much everything i ever tell her about. So steph and i chatted for about an hour with Erin and Jonathan and cute Jackson. We tried to catch on life as quickly as possible but there was just SO much. 

We left there and i had lunch plans to get ready for. I met with Mr. Bill Reid, the pastor at Calvary Baptist, and his son David. We had a lovely, exciting lunch at Sundown in the the beautiful sun=) I don't know if yall remember me telling yall this, but exactly a week after i got home i got a phone call from him about MLK. Anyway. This was a follow up on that conversation. Can i just say the Lord provides. The hardest thing for me to leave in Ruston was MLK. Really. Till this day, every time i see kids playing outside i only think of MLK. Ah. My heart is happy when i'm there. I am SO passionate about those kids, and about the ministry. I have just seen the Lord change those kids so much in the past 4 months that we've been back there. Anyway. Mr. Bill had so many encouraging and exciting things to share with me. One thing being that their church wants to fully finically support MLK. OH MY!!! When he told me that, i think i almost peed my pants i was so excited! That means, all of our equipment/toys, saturday cookouts, and all of our summer plans, and anything else we want! WOW. This is so exciting! We talked about sooo many things, and as things come i will fill you in on more. For now, just be praying about where the Lord is leading me. I have the opportunity to come back to Ruston every weekend and continue doing MLK. Ah. I'm so stinkin EXCITED just thinking about it!!! 

After lunch me, camille, colin, caleb, and a new international friend, Asia, went to Office Depot and walmart. We had to help Asia get a computer and we had to get food to cook for dinner. Asia is THE funniest international i've ever met. He kept us laughing, he kept shouting, "NOODLES!!" and "Man, everything is so much bigger here. Even the sun is so much bigger, i'm so hot." ha. And he said we spit out english like machine guns. haha. So funny. He told camille he was a believer and she was so excited about that! Be praying for Camille and her many international students=) 

We dropped Asia off and went back to camilles and proceeded to get dinner ready and just hang out and talk about life. That evening Becca, Leah, Spencer, and Hudson came to join us. We had such a sweet night of community. We only had one rule at dinner, and that was that everyone was to help cook. It was fun. Leah made muffins, camille made eggs, becca made bacon, spencer made french toast, i made biscuits, and the other boys hung a tire swing. ha. Anyway. The weather was so fabulous that we brought the coffee tables outside and sat on the ground and had a sweet brinner. Everyone told stories, and we laughed really hard, and just enjoyed each other. There was one moment when i just sat there and just admired everyone. Just to be with them was enough for me. I have longed for that community, missed it so much.  We all helped clean up and then we had a small dance party. Well. more or less me, leah, and spencer being silly dancing around. Ha. One of my favorite things about my friends is that often, very often they go on adventures. And you know they planned one for this weekend! Woo. It was a great way to end a sweet sweet day=)

Those friends make me happy. SO happy. The Lord just covered his love over me today. From seeing the clarks, to MLK stuff with Mr. Bill, to meeting Asia, to family brinner. Such an AMAZING day!  

Ladies Night

Today was one of the best days! I worked half a day and then i was off to Ruston with Stephanie for the first time in over a month. It was kinda crazy to think. I was so excited and nervous. ha. So ready to see my friends, but i wasn't so sure how things were going to be. If it was going to be hard to interact with people because i didn't really know what was going on in their lives anymore, cause i haven't been there experiencing life with them. AND. they haven't been experiencing the things i have been either. So. I full of mixed emotions and many thoughts. But ya know. We always make it out to be so much worse than it every really is. 

I didn't tell too many people that i was coming in because i wanted to surprise them, and. Its just kinda hard. You really only have 2 days to see people. And i just didn't want to be all over the place only spending like an hour with 10 different people. So. Know if i didn't see you or tell you i was coming in doesn't mean i don't love you and that you aren't special to me. I just wanted to pour myself out fully to a few people and not a little bit to a whole lot. ya know? So next time i'm in. Please! Lets hang out! Ok ok. Back to the ride to Ruston. It was sweet. I drove and steph and i talked pretty much the whole 1hr and 30mins. I really love talking to her. There was one thing that i just remember telling her. I think she might have asked me if i was nervous or excited or something. But. I remember my excitement pouring out and me just telling her that i was ready to see people. Ready to tell them about what i have been experiencing. Cause i'm different. In a month the Lord has changed me so much. In more ways than i prolly know. I was ready for people to see that. I have learned so much about myself, and life, and Jesus. It was exciting. Its exciting telling yall about it now. And... i just wanted people to see the difference. I mean... i hope they did. ha. Anyway. Once we got to Ruston, it was early afternoon, and steph and i hung out down town a bit. It was fun doing that because in the fall steph will be living in Ruston, and if i'm back there, we will get to hang out all the time! Thats super exciting=) After that we went to love on Megan for a bit. I just really love love love her. So much about her. I love that the Lord has molded us to be so close in the past few months. I only got to see her a few mins. Then i got to see Zachary and surprise Colin. He was prolly the only one that didn't find out i was coming into town. ha. It was fun surprising him. I have grown to love that Colin a lot. We actually get to talk about life and deeper things other than surface level things. Its actually been about a year now that i've known colin. ha. Just thought about that. Anyway. After i left their apartment i met Michael Reid for a humphrey. When i was at Tech Michael and i would always have these unplanned meetings in the front tables at tolliver and catch each other up on life. It prolly would happen every few weeks. So it was much needed to get to catch up on his life. He is doing so well. Changing and being molded into a man. It was so good to see that. While we ate our humphrey's we sat at railroad park at Ruston's first friday and listened to some of our friends play. 

Then. My sweet girls showed up! Camille, Becca, Vera, and Leah!!! It was SOO SOO SOOO exciting to see them. I have just missed their friendships so much. We were have a girls night! We hung out at First Friday for a bit and got some free Census hats and tshirts. ha. Danced to the music and cheered really loudly for deciding to eat mexican food. ahahaha. And we all 5 shared another humphery. ha. When i saw that Camille my heart was so warm. I have been waiting to see her since i left Ruston a month ago. She has been one of the MOST encouraging people since i have been home. Its crazy how the Lord has used my time being at home to strengthen several relationships, and hers being one of them. But. When i saw that Leah Crowe, we danced and danced around hugging and laughing. It was so encouraging to see her too. I have also talked to her often while being at home. We we get together there is a whole lot of excitement, laughter, and dancing going on in one room. AND I LOVE IT! haha. These girls are so dear to my heart. We then went to eat mexican food. and while we were there we kinda got to catch up on some of the latest things, and scheme and plan for the rest of the night. ha. After we left there we went to walmart and got a few things, while making a few new friends. We ended up leaving walmart with hair color, fro yo, cookie dough, chocolate covered almonds, star crunches, sparkling grape juice, and celery. hahaha. It was so funny. After our walmart trip we went back to camilles to watch a movie. And not even 10 mins in the movie i was passed out. ha. I warned them though, my bed time is usually about 9:30. So i knew if the lights went off and i had somewhere to rest my head i would be asleep. haha. And sure enough i was passed out. But. the only one to make it through the whole movie was Becca. Everyone else had fallen asleep too. So needless to say, once it was over, we had our second wind. We didn't actually go to sleep till 2. We made a big pallet on the floor and snuggled. It was a super sweet, fun, much needed night! 

Sweet Family

So i'm writting this on sunday... i have been so busy the past few days and i just didn't get a chance to blog. So... i don't really remember a whole lot about the day. But. I do know... i spent the whole day working at the office with steph. After work our sweet cousin, Denise, and her sweet sweet daughter Mallie came with her. It was fun. Mallie was so cute and funny. All night she just kept saying, "Allyson. Come play with me. Come play with me!" ha. So i played with her. In that picture to the left you can see her fork in her cup. haha. She was funny. She kept stirring it around shouting, "Cooking dinner. Making food. Stir stir stir." haha. She was precious.  

I can say though I was so selfish that night. I thought they weren't getting to our house till around 6:30. But they were getting there at 5:30. But i didn't find this out until like 5:15. My plan was to run and shower before they got there, so when i found that all out i just was kinda ugh. I was being selfish. Cause i wanted to go run and not hang out with my family. Might i add that i prolly only see them twice a year. And how selfish i was to be waiting for them to leave and not talk and enjoy them being with us, so i could go run! Ugh. And now when i think back on it i wish i would have just sat and played and talked with Denise and enjoyed it. Anyway. i just realized that somethings are more important that running. Somethings like people are more important than running. Ah. So... Be praying that my selfishness goes away! I don't want to be selfish. 

Sleepover

Ah. The days at home in this 'New Season' have been so much better than i could've imagined. It just feels me with joy=)

I had the pleasure of sleeping in today. well... till 7! Yay!! hahaha. But. I also got to work with steph today. We ran some errands and went to the horrible wal mart. ha. It was a short day. We did errands and office work. Came home and had lunch with dad. Then we jst stayed home and cleaned the house and around the pool. Then Steph and i ran. Then. I brought Zell to ball practice and Ella came with us. So i chased her around the ballpark, while Zell practiced. Then, i brought them back home and Rhys insisted that i didn't leave. So since i had to leave he said he would just stay the night with me. Ha. So i'm a sucker and i brought him home with me. Anyway. So much i want to tell yall, but. I have a 2 year old that is not asleep and is running around dancing to single ladies on the new chipmunk movie. ha. Anyway. I'm working with dad tomorrow. So. be praying for that=)

Date Night

I had such a fabulous day! I actually worked an 8 hour day. ha. AND. I got to work with steph all day! That always makes a day better! i LOVE to work with her. When i don't get to work with her, i just miss her. My aunt and dad think we're so funny, cause we just get so excited to see each other. haha. But. I didn't do anything silly today, so that was good. And... i got to work in the office. And friends... thats not my favorite. I would rather be outside working. And. I'm not good at the office work. I don't know enough to help people who come in and call. Ha... So i got to come home around 3. And i was home by myself and i just got to lay in the hammock and read for an hour or so. It was much needed. Then i went for a nice run. Well. Not so nice. I saw another SNAKE!!! Ah. I threw sticks and rocks at it. It then ran away. haha. After that, i had a date. A date with my Dad=) It was awesome. Mom had game night at work, em played volleyball with her life group, and steph went to the movies with some girls. So dad took me to Outback, and then we went to books a million. It was a nice night. Now we're watching American Idol. My dad loves this show. He won't admit it but. He does=) hahaha.

I can't ever remember what i have and haven't told yall. But one thing i know i have said is that while im in this 'New Season' i want to change! And one thing is i want to be the same here with my family that i am when i was in Ruston. I wan to serve and love them with a joyful heart. So. The verse for the week is...

"Let us not become weary in doing good., for at the proper time we will read a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:9-10

So i will cling to that this week as i serve. Also, i finally memorized last weeks verse. "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lords glory, are being transformed into his likeness with every-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the spirit." 2 Cor 3:18

Can i just encourage yall to memorize the word. It just helps to cling to it. Also, there are some opportunities coming up that i would really want yall to be praying about. Pray that i am lead by the spirit. That i am selfless in my decisions. It is exciting things that i can't wait to share with yall!!! Soon. Soon i will!

Working that 12 hour day

So. It was a long day. I mean... most days are pretty long. And the fact that the days are long now, doesn't help. I worked 7am- 7pm today. I didn't do too much. We started off by setting stakes for a new house. Before we started i had a lil mishap. Dad told me to find him some stakes around the shop. And the first ones i saw were all wrapped up in black plastic stuff. I kept trying to pull it out and it never would come off. So i went and asked dad for his pocket knife, btw, most men from grant parish carry a pocket knife, who knew? ha. Anyway. So. Then i went to cutting off the stakes. Once we got to the house site, dad went to get the stakes and when he started looking at them, he realized why i needed his pocket knife. I had cut his silt stakes. haha. Luckily Joel was there to take up for me. I mean... heck. I didn't know any better. It was a nice lil funny for the morning. It'll be awhile before they let me live that one down. It'll prolly be the next time i do something silly again. Which prolly won't be long. hahaha. But. Like i said, Joel took up for me. He said he's been working for dad about 15 years and he still does silly things like that. Maybe not that silly he said, but close. I do love that Joel. Like i said, he's been working for dad since i can remember. He's like my brother. He took up for me all morning though. Every time Dad went to get on me, Joel would take up for me. Those men have become so special to me. Everyone of them. Mr. Tommy keeps me laughing all day. Well. They all keep me laughing all day. They are so kind to me. Its hard for me to actually do a lot of hard work around them, cause they hardly ever let me. They always carry everything, get everything, fix everything. ha. They take care of me. But sometimes, i wish i could do more. I get bored not being able to do stuff. And i good and well know i can almost do whatever they do. Well... maybe not even almost. They are all pretty strong. Everyday i'm amazed at how different guys are from girls. I've never really been around boys/men this much. EVER. So i've learned much about guys over the past month. Well. At least these guys. haha. They are my friends. I enjoy hanging out with them. Its neat to get to learn about their lives. Being able to specifically pray for them. Thats what i'm trying to do now. I don't really think any of them are believers. So... that specifically something i'm praying for right now.

After we left the house site. We went back to the bayou. We as in dad and me. It was nice. I read some of my book until i fell asleep, only waking up to my Dad fishtailing down the gravel road. haha. Then we proceeded to talk about when he was a boy thats what they always did. ha. Once we got there we did some small work stuff, then we did the regular works. Its just so amazing how crazy different things are between me and Dad. I was telling steph today, that its not even really that Dad has changed. But i have changed. I see my Dad differently now. The Lord has changed me. Its neat to see that. So when he gripes at me now, i don't get mad, or defensive, or get my feelings hurt, i just take what he says and understand he is not very tactful with his words and his tone is some times just harsh. Thats it. That doesn't mean he is mad at me. Today when he would gripe or get on to me, it was just so different. I liked seeing the change.

After work i went to Jaymee's birthday party. She turned 17 today. Its so crazy. So crazy. So i got to see all my families again. They i came home and helped dad finish planting the garden, and steph and went for a nice walk to talk about our day. I love those moments.

As i was reading tonight, i read over a verse in proverbs 4:2... "I give you SOUND learning, so do not forsake my teaching." Friends. When i read that, i just thought about how that is so true. How we forget that so often. I know i do. Sound learning. Thats not feeling, or seeing, but hearing! Thats so exciting and encouraging to me. I know he speaks to us different ways, but i often wish he would just yell so loudly to me what he wants me to do! Don't yall ever feel that way? I mean... i think everyone does. And that is just encouraging. By sound He shares things. He teaches us and we learn from it. =)

Be praying for my coworkers: Joel, Josh, Brian, Michael, Tommy, Jimbo, Sam, and Lee. Oh and Mr. Jimmy. He has been sick. In and out of the hospital. Pray for healing for him. Pray for their salvation. For their sweet families. Daily the Lord would cover them with His love. I love them friends. I pray to see them change. To see beauty and glory! Again. Tomorrow!

The names i get called everyday by my coworkers, friends, and family. ha
1) Al
2) Big Al
3) Ally
4) Ally- Cat
5) Allyson

Makes me laugh=)

Sweet Easter

Easter=) Sweet Easter=) 

Friends. I just love any reason for family or people to gather over. ha. I think when i get older i'm gunna celebrate everything. Or maybe. I'll start celebrating everything starting today. Ha. like first day of this or  one week till this. haha.  Anyway. I enjoyed getting together with my families. It really is so crazy how things change. How they will never go back to how there were or are. I just looked at my cousin Jaymee today, thats her in the picture, and i just thought about how things have changed between us so much. She's two years younger than me. We've grown up together. We clogged together all through elementary school. We showed cows together, a few years. Once that was over, we played softball together in high school. Its just crazy. Now we spend no time together. I hardly ever see her. I mean. I do more now, since i'm home. I'll never get those years back with her. I just thought about all this. The time i have with my sisters right now and my parents. Some of yall in college with your roommates. How yall might not be together next year. And even if you are, it won't be the same. Just things to think about. Things never stay the same. I think thats why i am so confident in the word. It NEVER changes. My Savior NEVER changes. Thats just crazy to me. Cause everything we know CHANGES. Anyway. Not getting off on this changing and stuff. I want to tell yall about my Easter!

My family was fabulous. My granny (dads mom) is getting older and such so its always fun to go see her. She lives alone, so she LOVES having her family over. Like i said. We pretty much only all get together for holidays. But. Its fun to catch up on life with them. Mom, steph, em, and i hid easter eggs for the kids. And the lil red headed girl, Josie, who is 5, got SO excited when she spotted an egg! it was hilarious. It wasn't just like the first few she found she was excited, but EVERYONE she found she was THRILLED to find. haha. So we had a good time with the 3 lil girls finding eggs. After that we just hung out for a bit and talked and took pictures. 

Then we went to the Zell's for supper. And friends. That side of the family is HILARIOUS. Everyone of them. The first time we took Jake there with us, my Uncle Phil started yelling through the house, "Jakes got a tattoo. Not just one. but 2! Wait. I see another one." haha. While all along, everyone of my uncles, including him, my grandpa, and most of my cousins, all having tats too=) They are just crazy. Thats the side with the sweet kids are on. So i always love playing with them. And my cousin Jeffery, i talked about several weeks ago, was there along with his lil sister. I really love them. Also, my cousin Jonathan married a girl i graduated with, and they're expecting a lil baby girl in June. So it was good to talk to Ginny and hear all about the baby stuff. She is just so excited. She's gunna be a great little mommy and Jonathan is going to spoil their lil girl rotten. Anyway. We ate, Rhys said the prayer, we had an easter egg hunt for the kids, and then we always play volleyball when we get together. Pretty much everyone plays, and it is so funny. We all pick on each other and laugh SO much. We fall, and look ridiculous sometimes, but we never get mad and its just awesome. While they were hiding the easter eggs for the kids, i had them inside, and the Marks kids LOVE to dance. And Rhys and Zell wanted to dance while we were waiting for them. So we busted out our dance moves. They had me laughing so hard. 

It was a sweet Easter, with my sweet family. I am so thankful for my family. It is one thing that is dear to my heart. I think the closer i get to them, the harder its going to be for me to leave them in the fall. I mean. Heck. I've only been home for a month and have 5 more to go. haha. I love it though. I'm looking forward to hanging out with dad at work. And... getting a lil bit of work done. ha. I also hope to finish my book this week. 

Just be praying that daily i'm being changed. I know i am, but that His word is penetrating into my soul and spirit. I want to be changed. I want to be real. I don't know if i've shared this with yall. I know i have with a few people, but. One thing i want to change in this 'New Season.' Is i want to be the same with my family that i am with other people. Often, we have less patience with our family, or we don't serve them like we do other people. We often say things we shouldn't, instead of holding our tongue like we do with others. Anyway. I was challenged with this today. I want it to keep changing. I want to WANT to serve my family. I want to be selfless. I wish i could be selfless all the time. I wish it wasn't natural to think about ourselves first. Ugh. I want to think about others. Thats what i'm trying to do. Tomorrow is going to be a good day of work. 

AND. All day today, i was proud to share i was home, working for my dad=) 

I Get It From Daddy=)

i LOVED today! I actually slept till close to 9! Which was so awesome. ha. Then Ella won the in the Dogwood pageant and had to ride in the parade today. So Mom and i went to the parade. My grandparents were there, Jen, Lacey, Colby, and the boys were there. Its always fun with them. We ended up with SO much candy. And with my grandpa we didn't leave one piece on the ground. ha. The ground around us was spotless. After the parade i walked to the festival with my grandparents and hung out with them for a bit. It was a sweet time. Grandma and i got corn dogs and lemonade. Ya know. You only get the good ones at festivals and carnivals. ha. It was funny to be with my grandma. She is such a diva. She had her Ray Bans on, and her gladiator sandals=) I hope im as hip as she is at 76! haha.  But. I did get to see a few friends that i haven't seen in a while. Like my friends Trey and Casey. Every time i would come home i would usually have coffee with trey, or we would get to ihop or the movies or something. He was the VP of our sr class, and i was our president, so we got to work together a lot. He is one friend that i just love. That i would do anything for. I love him for who he is, and just the way he is. Its so amazing how the Lord has worked between us. All through high school trey and i weren't really friends. Then our senior year when we had to work together, the Lord just molded our friendship. I know if any reason i was class president was to build a relationship with him. He is now engaged to our friend Katie. Anyway. It was exciting to see him for a whole 5 mins. ha.

Then after the festival, i came home to get ready to go to a wedding. Our sweet family friend Ronald Sanburn, got married tonight in Natchez, Ms. My Dad LOVES Ronald. Ha. So we had to get there early and my dad was just so excited. It was THE shortest wedding i have ever been to. Literally the ceremony lasted least than 10 mins. It was so fun. The Sanburn family is the funniest family i know. One of the girls played softball with Em and Steph. And her lil brother was always that mean lil boy that would throw dirt on me and chase me around the ball park. Ha. Anyway. He is all grown up now. In high school. And sweet. I couldn't believe it was him. Their parents, though, are hilarious. Of course i spent half the night on the dance floor. And Ronald and all his groomsmen graduated with Steph. So i've known these guys forever. So it was fun to dance with all them. AND. get this. My dad is a dancing machine!!!!! I mean... i LOVE to dance. But i always thought i got that from my mom. She loves music and is always snapping and bobbing her head. ha. BUT. Tonight.  My mind was changed. Im pretty sure i get it from my daddy. ha. He two stepped with me, and free styled. Tonight will be one of my favorite memories with my dad. While we were dancing he said when he was about my age he won a dance contest in shreveport. ha. Isn't that funny? I never knew my dad liked to dance so much. I would see him dance here and there with my mom. but never freestyle like tonight.  It was so AMAZING.

I thought maybe we would be at the wedding for a whole two hours. 3 the most. but. Nope. We were there for 4 hours. haha. But. By the time we left, my dad was a lil chatter box. So. On the way home he was just a talking. Non stop. I mean. If ya know me, you know i'm a pretty emotional person. Like with my excitement, and i cry. Often. ha. Anyway. The things my dad was saying just made me start crying. Ha. i feel silly. But. He was just saying things like, he has enjoyed me working with him the past few weeks. And he said, "its more like a bonding time, than a working time." WOW. AH. It was just great to hear my dad say these things. And how he was so glad i came with them tonight. And that he liked my dance moves. haha. The Lord is really changing and working with my relationship with my dad. And friends. Its just so overwhelming seeing the Lord work. Thats why i'm so emotional with all this with my dad. When my dad was talking about us bonding with work and stuff, he brought up a time when i was in elementary school, and i would go hunting and fishing with my dad ALL THE TIME. Then i got in jr high, and cheerleading, and so on and i didn't really like it anymore. I realize now, my dad prolly thought i didn't like him anymore. i can honestly say, that was prolly the last time i have spent so much time with him. I really love my dad. OH. And another thing he said, was that he enjoyed bonding with all his girls, and especially me, because we're so much alike. Ah. I am just so thankful. So full of joy. He also told me that i have been doing an excellent job the past few weeks. ha. I don't even think i've been doing anything. haha. Yall. i'm laughing, crying right now. hahaha. Yall would be laughing at me if yall saw me. The past few times i've been blogging, i've just been crying as i type. haha. And every time someone has seen me, and they think something is wrong, and then i get to share my joy with them! Its just so good.

Its crazy to see how much things have changed the past month that i've been home. How much i've changed. One thing. Each day is just so special. The things of the day are never the same. Every day since i've been home the Lord has done something crazy. And just like today, it happened at a wedding. Friends. Pray it keeps changing. Pray that Em and I can be selfless to each other.

And. Pray for Ronald and Adrin. I want the best for them. Doesn't everyone want the best for everyone. Anyway. Pray they love each other. Love from the Lord covers them. And. TOmorrow is Easter!

5k. Egg hunt. Garden planting.

All in a day. So many things happen. Today was like my saturday. But. I get another saturday tomorrow!!! Woo. Anyway. It was such an awesome day. It began with my church's first ever 5k Miracle March. It was so fun. Who knew so many people were runners. Ha. It was my first race to run, and it was just so fun. So exciting, and fulfilling almost. ha. I'm ready to run that half marathon. Well. maybe not yet. But i'm looking forward to it. The whole fam ran. Dad wasn't able to cause he had a job that had to be finished by today. But all the girls ran. Em was the first woman to finish. Steph 2nd. Me 3rd. It was awesome. I barely a lady that was 8 months pregnant. ha. But. One of my girls in my 9th and 10th grade sunday school class, Olivia, ended up running with me the whole race=) 

Once it was over the church had their annual easter egg hunt. So Zell, Rhys, and Ella came to it. Of course they are always precious, but today. Wow. I wish everyone could just get a day, even just an hour with these kids. SO CUTE. First let me say Rhys is so bad!!(bad in a cute, good way) I hunted eggs with him. He really just liked wearing his basket on his head. Anyway. Once it was over they gave all the kids juice and cupcakes. Really it was just sugar and sugar. ha. Needless to say all the Marks kids  got the sugars. The pictures below this are so hilarious. I wish yall could have seen it. Rhys didn't really want his cupcake, so we let Ella try some of the icing. And well. Once Ella got it, Rhys wanted it back. And so on. Back and forth between each kid. There was icing everywhere. I don't think they even touched the cake part. But every bit of icing was gone. hahaha. Those kids are sweet sweet. Also, while we were there, the principal at the elementary school i went to goes to my church, and she was there. We got to talking and i was telling her that i may be interested in teaching. Anyway. Basically the conversation resulted in me going to observe in some different classrooms in a few weeks. Going a few times a week and just interacting with the kids and such. I'm really looking forward to it. The time was good with my old church family. Its crazy how things change so much, but still kinda stays the same. 

After the morning festivities, mom wanted to go pick up a few things for easter. We went to a few places and it was my first time it spend my hard earned money. I didn't enjoy it so much. Now that its my money i'm spending, i'm more careful as to what i buy. ha. My dad would be proud for that statement. haha. Anyway. It was just mom and me. We went and had lunch a chic fil a. Then just got a few things around town. Anyway. She was excited to hang out with me. We got to dance in the car and sing to Michael Jackson. ha. And talk. I LOVE my mom. A Lot. She laughs at me. I like that. 

Then when we got home, it was just mom, dad, and me at home. And we got the pleasure to plant the garden this evening!! Woo. It really was so fun. I learned a lot about gardens that i never knew. I was dad lil gardener today. I put out fertilizer, then i got the opportunity to hoe the garden. baha. You see me working in that picture. That is not easy stuff my friends. Its been about 3 hours since we stopped and i am already sore, with 2 blisters on my left hand and one on my right. ha. I mean... come on people. I did 6 very loooong rows. And. My dad told me i did AWESOME!!!! Woo. One of my favorite words and my dad used it in the same sentence as my name! ha. Ok. Its really not that big of a deal. But. Its good to know he was pleased with my work. We planted, okra, squash, corn, eggplant, beans, peas, cucumbers, and sunflowers for moms=) YALL. i just LOVED that time with my parents. We didn't talk a whole lot or anything. I just liked hanging out with them for a few hours. Just me and them.  

As i watched them as i worked and as i think about it even now. It made me so happy to help them. I just enjoy those unplanned, sweet moments. As we gardened, we watched the sun set, and the Lord filled me with much joy at that moment. Don't know if yall remember me telling yall about the prayer book i started reading in Barns and Noble 2 weeks ago. Anyway. There was a part in there that said when we truly love someone we get to the point that we can just admire them and not even talk. That we just admire who they are and we love to be around them. Anyway. Thats one of the many things i have been thinking about. And one reason i love the sun, moon, stars, pretty much nature, is because i love to admire the work of the Lord. And i just figured out that i just really want to be able to just admire the Lord. Just for who he is. Just to sit in our Fathers presence and not even talk. Not ask him to change this, or do this, or me this or me that, i just want to sit. Sit and admire. My heart leaps to think about that. At this moment i am filled with much joy in my heart to know, he admires me. Thats how much he loves me. I long to be so close with my Father. Sometimes i get overwhelmed and when i feel like i don't know when i'm gunna have time to spend with him, he always. ALWAYS, provides me at least 30 mins alone a day. I don't always take advantage of those moments like i should, but i'm working on realizing when those moments are and taking them. Friends. Days like today, i'm filled with much joy and my heart rejoices to the Lord. Even the sound of rain outside my window is the icing on the cake. I love sharing when my heart is full. I think the Lord wants us to share those moments or maybe not. But. Why not?! I mean... i will share those moments! When i get so full, so full of joy, i can't help but share! Share your joy with people=) 
I know there are a few faithful friends that read everyday. Its kinda funny, next time i see yall and try to tell yall stories yall will pretty much know them. ha. Just let me know if ya know it. Don't let me share it again. ahha. I have no idea if anyone reads my blog. Well. I take that back. I know steph reads it. ahha. Anyway. I just thought about that. 
Anyway! I know most of yall are at home with family. I know they can be crazy a lot of the time, but. You're there for a few days. Love on them. Try to be selfless and serve. Let them know what the Lords teaching you. Seek out the one lonely one. And just be real with them. Pray the Lord presents those opportunities. Trust me. If he wants it, it'll happen. He is faithful. He provides. Rest in that. I'm excited at the moment. So full of joy! Ah. At midnight. haha. I NEED sleep!!! ha. Tomorrow=)

April Fools??

Ha. April fools. I totally forget about these kinds of things... so when i sent a few text out saying i just cut all my hair off!!!!!!!! A few people thought i was pullin an April fools. ha. But i sure wasn't. I got my hairs cut today. A lil under a foot cut off. I just did it. I was tired of talking about how i wanted to cut it, and i said what the heck.
3 good reasons i cut my hair.
1) Why not? Its just hair, and it grows.
2) Warming up outside, too much hair, too hot!
3) It would always end up in a pony tail.
Haha... But my girl Bonnie got me. Well. Kinda. She told me Needtobreathe broke up. And like an idiot i believed her. ha.

Anyway. Enough about pointless stuff. Lets talk about the day. Well. First. Can i just let yall know, that the past three days i have randomly gotten the urge to write a book. Isn't that funny? I never think i have EVER EVER had the slightest desire to do that. Ha. Just a thought for yall. I mean... since yall care so much. ha. ANYWAY. Along with that thought, i have been thinking lots of CRAZY thoughts lately. I literally cannot stop thinking. And i'm not even thinking about stupid stuff, or even things that have to do with me. Just as if it were crazy talkin. haha. Sorry. ok. The day.

The day was not too exciting. Doesn't mean it was a bad day. Just not real exciting. A few fun things happen, and a few meaningful things happen. So here goes it! I got to work around 7, but my job didn't really start till around 9ish. So... once work did get to going, i was working with Josh and Joel most of the day, and Jimbo and Sam here and there. I have grown to love those men. I think they are all so funny. And they are so sweet to me. Well. Prolly cause i'm a lil girl on a construction site. ha. Anyway. We were working at the high i went to, and they were having a softball game today. Can i just say, sometimes its harder than others to tell people that i'm home, and then that i'm doing construction work. The first week or so was the hardest, and those feelings began to come back as my old team mates began to arrive at the school. Need i say we were working right in the middle of the parking lot. But yall. I just hate that feeling the devil brings over you. That feeling of worthlessness, the feeling of shame. I HATE IT!!!! I felt so guilty for feeling that way. And then at that moment. I decided to rock the fact i was working with my dad, doing construction work. Its just crazy. One of the girls pulled up, and said, "i was wondering who that woman was out there doing that construction work, and then i realized it was you!" I almost felt embarrassed. But. That is totally the wrong feeling to have. Within about 15 mins i had to explain to people what i was doing out there. I mean... people. How often are young lil girls like me, working on stinking construction work??? I mean. Really? So... as people kept pullin up here and there, Josh looked over at me and said, "this must be so embarrassing for you." Ah. I think i threw up a lil bit in my mouth when i heard him say that, because i was so disgusted with myself that was actually how i was feeling. Ugh. And at that moment, i chose to be proud of what i'm doing. I really was and am learning so much. An old friend of mine once told me that his dad made him push mow their yard. And my friend would get so mad and always ask why. And one day his dad told him, "Cause son. It builds character." And i was reminded of Mr. Kenny telling Cas that. ha. And i feel like, no, i KNOW, this is building my character. For starters its humbling me. Haha. Because, not that Josh meant it in any harmful way, he more than likely didn't even realize what he was saying to me, but i just thought and thought about that. And i will not feel shame because of what i'm doing. I can tell you one thing, it has given me a greater respect for my Father, for his workers, and for anyone who does labor work.

Another thing i've learned, is i SURE do not want to do labor work for the rest of my life, but i DO NOT want to be stuck in an office all day either. ha. When Sam and Jimbo would come back and forth, we would get to talk. And yall. Almost every conversation i get into with anyone, we always end up talking about life/jobs. Jimbo's advise was to do what you wanted while you could, because once you get to point of having kids and such you're not as free to go and do like ya want. And i TOTALLY agree with that statement. ha. And then, Sam's was so sweet and compassionate, he was just letting me know i would figure it out soon enough. And i would find something i would enjoy doing. Its just encouraging to talk to them and them not bash me for not being in school right now. Sometimes i'm almost terrified to tell or let some people find out. That they will bash me, or think less of me. Not often. But there was someone this week i even avoided their phone call because i didn't want them to ask about school... and so on from there. Anyway. Its not as bad as i think i'm making it seem. This has only happen a few times, and usually i get over it real quick. But. Like i said, encouraging to talk with them.

Also, I watched the kids tonight, so Colby and Jen could go on a date. They were a bit bad tonight. haha. Thats not often. But i just takes so much out of me, when i have to get on to them. Drains me. Anyway. Once i had them all asleep around 9, i feel asleep on their couch waiting on them. haha. So tired. Anyway. When they got back, i sat for about 20 mins laughing with Jen an Colby about random funny stuff. There was a point when Colby said Jen was the boss, and he was no different from Jerry (mine and Jens grandpa) and she was no different from Phylis (our grandma). HAHAHA. That was the funniest thing said all night. No one will get that but my family prolly, but dang. If yall only knew.

Ah. Before i fall asleep again writing this all, i want to share my verse with yall this week.. well. As far as i remember right now.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lords glory, are being transformed into the like-ness of Christ...." 2 Cori 3:18. And i forgot the rest. But. I will know it by Sunday morning=)

What a Day=)

Of course. It was a good day=) One of the most interesting, thinking, refreshing days i've had. Can i just throw in this lil fact that every morning my dad listens to the John Boy and Billy talk show on the radio. So the mornings i get to ride with dad we have this blaring in our ears. oh and... this is the latest i've stayed up all week and i've been up since before 6, so if some of this doesn't make sense, i'm sorry. ha. The day was just too awesome and my heart is just too full not to share about it=)

One. The day started off with not only the sunrise but the HUGE moon was still out. So as i looked to the east the sun was rising and as i looked to the west the moon was still hanging high. I decided this morning wherever i live from this point on, i will always have to be able to see the sun, moon, and stars. CLEARLY. ha. Anyway. Its not that i just think its beautiful, i'm just in such awe of the creation. There hasn't been one day the sun hasn't risen or the stars haven't shined. Its just another way the Lord shows me He is faithful.

We went back to the bayou this morning. I was working with Bryan, Michael, and Josh again. I like those boys. They'll talk to me and ask me questions, well, when they remember i'm there. Often they forget and i hear all their boy talk. I have to remind them i'm still there. haha. They're funny. But today was different. As i worked by them throughout the day, and as i heard them talk about life, i was a bit sad for them. Just at how blinded they are to the beauty of life. Makes me sad. They all have a kid. None of them are married. And they just work. Some other things were said throughout the day that just burden my heart for them. I haven't really told anyone that i'm home from around here. Not that i don't want them to know, i just, well.... i don't really know why i haven't told them. huh. I'll have to think about that. Anyway. Besides my family, my coworkers are really the only other people i see. And i like it! I really feel like i'll be able to invest and i'm already seeing the fruits. I mean... just look at what the Lord has done with me and dad already! Its crazy.

Today was sweet again with dad. A lot of times he tries to act like he's gunna work me to death and make me miserable and he stresses me sometimes, ha, but really, when we get out there to work, i turn right back into his little girl. Its sweet. Today he was taking the long way back, trying to surprise me with a snow cone, cause i was taking a lil power nap, ha, but the snow cone stand was closed=( ha. Anyway. And he let me off work somewhat early.

Once i got off work, i came home got to chat with mom about her day, and my girl meg was home and i was debating about going to visit her, but i'm so glad my mom encouraged me to go. She knows how much i love people, and how i need people, AND. how badly i've missed my friends. So, i showered and let my hair down for the night. ha. Thats a kinda a joke with my fam, because during the week, steph and i never where our hair down. Its always, always, in a pony tail. haha. So... i went to go see my girl meg. I have missed her. Missed her a whole lot. We had so much to catch up on, and we just picked up where we left off. She caught me up all on her life, we got to snuggle, and it was just refreshing. I forgot to tell yall we talked sunday and it made me miss her much! But seeing her tonight, pretty much makes me miss her even more! Anyway. Then Katy and Becca ended up coming! That was a sweet surprise from them. I didn't know they were coming and they didn't know i was coming=) So when they walked in they were screaming and becca even started to cry! I miss them much too. I just love them. They told me their crazy apartment camping out story and we just talked and talked. It was great to see Katy. She is so encouraging. I always feel like whatever i poor into her, she always gives back to me. Thats so great. It was good just to get to encourage her on life. To remind of that stupid devils lies. Ah. Those girls=) I wish Camille and Leah could have been there for girl time! Soon. Soon we will be reuniting. Those girls can make a girl happy=) It was just a refreshing, encouraging, fabulous time with the girls!

Other than all those things, i just couldn't stop thinking today. Like really. ALL day looooonnnngggg. From the time i woke up, till now. My head has been full of so many thoughts. That book i'm reading, has got me crazy. ha. I just have so many questions, and while asking the questions, i have to remember to be patient and wait on the Lord, and sometimes its just hard. I'm trying to be better. Anyway. Its 1am, and i have to be up at 6am. Its gunna be a long day, but. Tomorrow is my friday! Woo! Pray for energy! AH!!!