Life

Ya know. Sometimes life just stinks. And there's nothing you can do about it. Its just life. I hate that saying. I hate that it has to stink sometimes. That everything can't be wonderful all the time. That we all can't laugh and smile and play all the time. And really. Everything goes back to him. Everything is for his glory. For him to take something ugly, and gross. A big mess and make it clean, spotless, and BEAUTIFUL. Thats one of my favorite things about our savior. He takes the junk and he is the only one that can make it beautiful. Not just on the outside but inside to. I think back on relationships and situations that have been so crappy and how beautiful they are or are becoming. Just like me and dad. Or this past week. It wasn't crappy. But from wed until today... things have not been so fabulous. I hate to be negative about things but. I don't really think i am. I mean... these things happen. Days happen when they aren't so fabulous. I guess i'm just learning a lot right now.

Sunday morning at church they talked about Godly Womanhood. And friends. It was so good. Last week they talked about Authentic Manhood. And to hear them talk about mans weakness, for them to be passive and not take the blame. And how women struggle with being controlling. Wanting to control their husbands, people, situations. And just recently i have found myself wanting to be controlling. Not over people, but how when these things have not been so great, that i truly have absolutely no control over them. And i can say i trust the Lord and i know he gives me the best, but my actions and thoughts have not shown that i believe he is in control, and that i believe he is giving me the best right now. I have all these plans or backup plans that if it doesn't work with what the Lords giving me i'll do what i think is best. And how he is just stripping me of that right now. Their are a few things going on and basically just life that i can't control. ANd i HAVE to trust that the Lord and believe he is giving me the best. I'm reminded that the word tells me he will not withhold any good thing from me! Today it will be a struggle to remember that. Tomorrow it will be too. And prolly the rest of the week and from now on. Pray my actions and thoughts reflect my trust. That daily i'm reminded he is taking care. He's in control. That that would be enough for me.
He is stripping me of so much right now. Of me not trusting, my pride, my selfishness, my pointless words and much more that i can't see right now. This is what i want though. And i have to also remind myself that i'm askin him to do this, and i knew it would be hard. I think we forget that when we ask him to do things sometimes, that it prolly won't be too easy. ha. I'm excited to look back on this and to see how he has and is changing me. I'm excited about this week.
Dad comes back today. Grandpa's birthday is today and we're having a party for lunch. And Its a new day to delight in the Lord. I have missed him. I find that things are a bit harder and a bit less meaningful to me the less time i spend with him. I become busy and selfish and lazy. Not taking the opportunities to spend with him alone. Not covering myself in his word daily.